So, since Bad Religion is one of the all-time best bands ever, I thought I'd share this with you guys.

CAMBRIDGE, MA - Harvard University's prominent community of atheists and agnostics is poised to honor a rock star and scientist whom they argue is an ideal role model for the nation's millions of non-religious youth.

The Humanist Chaplaincy at Harvard has gained considerable national attention in the past year for its unique approach to building a culture and community for the non-religious, and this April 26 it will give its highest honor, the "Outstanding Lifetime Achievement Award in Cultural Humanism," to a unique figure: Dr. Greg Graffin, frontman of the influential punk rock band Bad Religion. Graffin, whose "day job" since 1980 has been recording and extensive worldwide touring with a band boasting such hits as "How Could Hell be Any Worse" and "American Jesus," earned his PhD in Zoology at Cornell and is a member of the UCLA's Faculty in Biology, teaching Life Sciences courses covering Darwin and natural selection. Graffin will give an acoustic performance after accepting the award.

"I always put education high on my list of priorities because I thought, Wouldn't it be neat if you can have a singer of your favorite band who also has something more to offer than looking cool - which I don't - or dressing cool - which I don't;" Graffin said. "Those are the things that I try to inspire young people to do, whether it is in the lecture hall or on stage on the Warped Tour."

But Bad Religion, considered among the most influential modern punk bands, has been known for inspiring young people towards a particular set of ideas: those of atheism and Humanism. Graffin's lyrics make plain his passionate disbelief in God. Yet the Harvard Humanists cite his faith in the ability of music and science to improve the world as making the singer unique.

"Graffin is proof positive that atheists can be great ethical role models: young people idolize rock stars, and what more could you want from one than his lifelong dedication to science, education, and Humanism?" said Greg Epstein, Humanist Chaplain of Harvard University.

The award, intended to honor a Humanist or atheist having made a lasting impact on US culture, was presented last year to renowned novelist Sir Salman Rushdie before a sold-out audience of 1100 that Rushdie likened to a celebration of "Atheistmas," and will once again be conferred at Harvard's Memorial Church, the official University Chapel. Graffin was selected for this year's award by the Harvard Secular Society, an undergraduate student group affiliated with the Humanist Chaplaincy. The event is co-sponsored by Newbury Comics, Harvard Book Store, & the Cambridge Forum.

Date: Saturday, April 26, 2008
Time: 8:00pm - 10:00pm
Location: The Memorial Church, Harvard
Get tickets at the Harvard Box Office! $5 students, $10 public.

For information about the Humanist Chaplaincy at Harvard, visit:
http://harvardhumanist. org.

I can't take credit for this one, as a friend wrote it. But I thought it was brilliant, so I wanted to share...

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere. Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud: They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let’s see...our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be a automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families: you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than "Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

Lyrics:

Blink; my eyes are not wide enough
To take in your innocence.
I’m reading you like a book
That I can’t put down.
My world is on fire here,
And you are a thousand tears
Falling upon my face
So I’ll get clean again.

How does it feel
To know that you are part of me?
How does it feel
When you’re the only one I see?

Standing on top of the world with you,
Will you stay with me,
My everything?
Feeling alive for the very first time,
Will you stay with me,
My everything?

Hope a longing for us to share,
A moment with time to spare.
I can’t help but think
That you are the one for me.
Desire is sinking in.
I never want this to end.
You’re everything that
I want to be with forever.

How does it feel
To know that you are part of me?
How does it feel
When you’re the only one I see?

Standing on top of the world with you,
Will you stay with me,
My everything?
Feeling alive for the very first time,
Will you stay with me,
My everything?

I'm holding on to all you said,
The little things, the promises.
I need you, I need you.

You’re a picture that never fades,
You’re as smooth as the ocean waves.
Wave goodbye to the world we know.
You are here and I will never again be alone.

Standing on top of the world with you,
Will you stay with me,
My everything?
Feeling alive for the very first time,
Will you stay with me,
My everything?
Will you stay with me,
My everything?
Will you stay with me,
My everything?

I did some thinking this morning, thanks to some reading I did yesterday.

Let me start at the beginning...yesterday was my great-great uncle's 100th birthday. For that, one of my other uncles put together a family history, dating back to the 1800s, with as much about as many people in our family as he could find. It was pretty cool to see all of that...until I came across a name I had never actually heard, even though I knew it was there, somewhere. It was the name of my biological father. Let me start at the REAL beginning...I was born, and my father, biologically speaking, left. Yeah, pretty much that's it...he left my nineteen year old mother and I alone.

That name made me really think about myself. My entire life has been one long slog of people not wanting to be with me. My own father left me when I was about three months old. I've had at least a dozen people that I thought were my best friends tell me to my face that they hate me and wished I'd just go away. I've never had a girlfriend...and I can't even say it's for a lack of trying. She just...doesn't love me like that. The whole story of my life is just one of people not caring about me as much as I care about them. Clearly, it's something with me...I just wish I knew what it was.

Hokay, so, here are the questions:

1. What is it that makes women so awful at just accepting a present?

Let me set the stage for you. I'm hanging out with my friend, Jill. We go into Faces (which, by the way, is the most awesome store in the world, so check them out at their website: http://www.facesmainst.com/store/, or just go to the place if you're ever in Northampton; the address is 175 Main Street. You'll love it, I promise) to visit a friend and to look around at stuff, and so that Jill can hand in an application.

As we are browsing, there is a display of necklaces that Jill spends a good deal of time looking at. She says words to the effect of, "These are really nice, and I want one. I'm saving up some extra money to buy one." I look at the price...$18.95. Not exactly a bank breaker for me, but for someone who is unemployed and lives with her boyfriend in an apartment, it is. So, I decide to buy it for her. This is where the fun (ha!) begins.

We walk back over to it later and I ask her which one she wants, and she plays the dumb game, and asks me what I mean. I tell her I want to buy her one, and she freaks out and tells me no! She breaks out the guilty feelings thing, telling me that she'll feel bad about it and then pulls the "you don't have to!" line out as well. No kidding I didn't have to. That's not the point. I wanted to. I finally convinced her by telling her that if she didn't let me buy it for her, I'd just spend the money on chicken wings back at AIC, and thus she'd be contributing to me having a heart attack at age 40, which would feel a lot worse than getting a necklace. She relents and tells me which one she wants, but won't even look as I make the purchase, and then insists that she'll make it up to me the next time we hang out.
Now, seriously, why? Why put up all that fuss? Can anyone explain that to me? I mean, seriously, it's not like I wanted to buy her a car. All I wanted to do was get my best friend a present since I don't see her that often. I didn't have to, I wanted to. She's not the first person that's done this when I try and buy stuff for them, but it seems to always be the females that freak out. So, ladies...why? Why do you have to fight it? Why can't you just be happy that someone cares enough about you to spend a few bucks on you to get you something that you want anyway?

2. What's with people thinking I know anything about getting pregnant?

 
Let's start this one off by saying this: I am twenty-one years away from being the forty-year old virgin, OK? I've never had sex in my life. Thus, I've never impregnated anyone, and, being male, have certainly never been pregnant myself.
Yet, I've had two different friends come to me with the same exact problem. In both cases, the question was, "So, my boyfriend got me pregnant. What should I do?" Um...do I look like I'm an expert at that kind of thing? I mean, I try to think it through logically, find out as much as I can, and then try to help, but, really, it's not like I can answer that question. It's too complex for me, OK? I don't know what to do with being pregnant! I really don't!
Then, today, I got an IM from a different friend, asking me if, given certain conditions which I won't repeat here since I'm sure none of you need the lovely details of my friends' sex life, can a person get pregnant? She told me she thought I'd be the best person to ask. Um...once again, I am not a sex ed teacher. I'm not even a biologist. Why me? What makes people think I know what to do? Of course, she followed it up with the question about what to do if she does, in fact, get pregnant, thus throwing me back into the loop of the first part of this.
So, can someone explain that to me? What's with people asking me these questions? Why do you expect me to know the answers to stuff like this that I've never experienced?

Thank you, that is all.

Yanked from the saikotikgunman, who took it from lauralew, who got it from places unknown to me...

Would you kill your neighbor?
It depends. I wouldn't walk right over there with a shotgun and start re-arranging people's faces, but if it came to me or them, of course.

Whats one word that describes your last fight? 
Joke. 

What were you doing ten minutes ago?
Wondering why people don't call back.

What's the last movie you saw?
Spaceballs!

What did your last text message say?
I don't text.

Who have you talked to most today?

Corey, probably? IDK.

Do you carve pumpkins every year?
No.

Color of your shirt?
White, mostly.

I'm always... 
...asking, "Why?" 

Who's on speed dial 2?
No one. If I had speed dial, it'd probably be either my mom or Jill.

Whats your favorite season?
Winter.

How are you feeling right now?
Pretty good.

What did you do this weekend?
Worked about 30542048 hours.

How many times have you moved?
Once.

What is the last thing you touched?
Spoon; I'm eating ice cream!

Would you do anything for someone else?
There are many things I'd do for many people, but very few people for which I would do anything. In fact, I can only think of three.

Have you ever been called a punk?
Probably.

Was yesterday better than today?
Yesterday: copious quantities of Jill and some Molly.
Today: Nothing of the sort.
I'd say yes.

What is your ring tone?
Nada.

Do you have a favorite number?
80 is what I have on my jerseys.

Are your grades good?
3.7 GPA, biznatches!

Do you hate anyone/anything?
Yeah. It's a long list.

Does your best friend have a MySpace?
She does...she's my top friend, too.

If you could meet anyone who would it be?
Depends on what you mean by "meet". If you're talking about "meet" as in knowing someone you don't know, then James Madison or Thomas Jefferson. If you mean "meet" as in get together, then either Molly or Jill.

Last time you went out to lunch?
Yesterday, Jill and I had smoothies and shared a GIANT cookie at Haymarket. Does that count?

Do you have any music you're ashamed of?
Nope.

Have you ever gotten into a physical fight with a member of the opposite sex?
When I was, like, 8.

How old will you be in 2 months?
Same age as I am now, execpt with two months added.

Do you think you'll be married by then?
Well, if...
a) the laws of the state of MA change
b) a certain someone has a major change of heart about herself
c) I win the lottery
...then, a very slight maybe. But since I doubt all of these will happen (heck, only b is even actually possible), no.

Do you have one or more Britney Spears cds?
What do I look like, a moron?

What did you do last night?
Hmm...night...nothing much. Slept, mostly.

Are you a Lost fanatic?
Nope. I hate most TV shows.

Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library?
Several. Iron Man is the shit, foo.

Do you ever sing in the shower?
Hahaha...on rare occassion. My preferred singing place is actually on bike rides to work.

Whats your favorite movie?
Anything in the original Star Wars series.

Why is your relationship status the way it is?

Because some people are nasty, manipulative, brutal, torturous assholes who say and do all kinds of nasty things to kind, wonderful, beautiful, amazing, smart, perfect women to make them feel like they're less than dirt, and thereby make them unwilling to enter a relationship because they feel like they're not good enough when they're more than just good enough.

Do people ever spell your name wrong?

My last name gets f'ed up more than an alcoholic during happy hour.

Do you believe everyone has a soul-mate?
I don't believe that anyone has a soul, so, by terminology, no. However, I do believe that everyone has the power to love.

Can you sing?
Yes. If the question added an adverb like "well", however, then the answer would be no. I sound like a dying whale who just had a rabid cat shoved into it's larynx.

When was the last time you cried?
Hmm...I cried from laughing really hard today. Does that count?

Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?
I have been accused of being a freak for many reasons, but neatness is NOT one of them.

Have you ever been to South America or Africa?
Nope.

Do you know how to knit?
Negative.

Do you have a job?
I work at McDonalds. They give me money, I sell heart attacks to people. It's nice.

Is there anything currently bothering you?
Why people just don't call back, why bad things happen to good people, and why some people are nasty, manipulative, brutal, torturous assholes who say and do all kinds of nasty things to kind, wonderful, beautiful, amazing, smart, perfect women to make them feel like they're less than dirt, and thereby make them unwilling to enter a relationship because they feel like they're not good enough when they're more than just good enough. Then again, those last two constantly sit in the back of my mind, so I don't know if "currently" applies to them.

What are you doing right now besides this survey?
Eating ice cream.

Do you know how to play poker?
I can do five-card draw, Texas Hold'em, and Omaha Hold'Em fairly well.

Baskin Robins or Coldstone?
Friendly's!

Physics or chemistry?
Chemistry. I like making things go boom. 

Facebook or Myspace? 
I have and use both regularly. 

Do you wear any jewelry?
Nope.

What is the color of your bedroom walls?
Concrete, since my bedroom is the basement tonight. 

When do you prefer to take a shower, morning or night?
Whenever it's needed. I like showers.

Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars? 
Oh, come on. I answered this earlier. You're asking me to pick my favorite out of a list of things, and that list of things includes Star Wars? There are only three things I'd take ahead of Star Wars in ANY list of favorites: one sport and two people. 

Fly or road trip?
Bike, actually.

Batman, Spiderman, Superman, Tanner Vineyard, or Shalayna Hatcher?
I was always partial to The Flash, actually.

What's your favorite Disney movie?
Miracle. It's hockey, baby!

What are your plans for tonight?
Well, I was going to go with Corey, but I guess that isn't happening, so...nothing, I guess.

According to my friend Hannah, I look a lot like Wade Brookbank. What do y'all think?
Furthermore, who do YOU look like?

It's been awhile since I've written any poetry...sometimes, it takes an assignment from an English class to get me to do it...but once I get going, I really go.

1. Thirteen Ways To Look At Snow

I
It never ceases to chill,
Like a dog howling at the moon,
Still the snows fall down.

II
Watch the moon rise at night,
A full circle staring at the world,
It’s beams of light pale and green,
Reflecting off of the snow around us.

III
In the park on Saturday,
With heavy winter coats and gloves,
Sleds of red and blue with pink noses,
They cut through the snow at the speed of life

IV
Lay down to bed early,
The old man arrives,
Footsteps in the snow on the roof.

V
Thin blades on thick ice,
They are out there alone.
The lake is frozen, but they are warm,
Alive with all of the passion of love,
And they kiss as the snow starts to fall.

VI
Little child, walking with his uncle,
The day so full of slush.
He dives in the snow, and says,
“I fell.”

VII
A tired father no more,
With a grin, he opens the garage door.
A new snow blower, red against the white.

VIII
Steel-grey skies above the mound,
Dug in deep for safety,
They give the command, “Fire!”
Thus the snowball fight begins.

IX
Their love is thick like blood,
Their love is sweet like honey,
Their love is as pure as new-fallen snow.

X
Another annoyed parent looks out the window,
Cursing the message of joy on the news,
For it is a snow day.

XI
Seven miners return to their home,
To find a beautiful girl.
They know not where she came from,
Only that she is as white as snow.

XII
I watch her with care,
The scarf around her neck of many colors,
My love standing out in the snow.

XIII
On the edge of winter,
A rush to the hospital,
There is no panic, though.
A new mother stares lovingly at her baby boy,
And the snow outside blankets the world with peace.

2. Three Objects

The Supreme Overlord gave me an old horoscope today.
It seems odd to me, really.
Since when can you tell the future by being born on a day? I think that it is silly.

Then again, I probably would find such nonsense nonsensical.
I was just reading Sam Harris.
He thinks that superstition is stupid and reprehensible.
I am apt to agree with this.

Then again, it is just wild game, and no one really believes it.
At least, I truly hope they do not.
Even though the horoscope section is quite a hit,
The writer was surely smoking pot.

I know, I know,
You’re mad at me.
I only meant well.
Really, I did!