Hokay, so, here are the questions:

1. What is it that makes women so awful at just accepting a present?

Let me set the stage for you. I'm hanging out with my friend, Jill. We go into Faces (which, by the way, is the most awesome store in the world, so check them out at their website: http://www.facesmainst.com/store/, or just go to the place if you're ever in Northampton; the address is 175 Main Street. You'll love it, I promise) to visit a friend and to look around at stuff, and so that Jill can hand in an application.

As we are browsing, there is a display of necklaces that Jill spends a good deal of time looking at. She says words to the effect of, "These are really nice, and I want one. I'm saving up some extra money to buy one." I look at the price...$18.95. Not exactly a bank breaker for me, but for someone who is unemployed and lives with her boyfriend in an apartment, it is. So, I decide to buy it for her. This is where the fun (ha!) begins.

We walk back over to it later and I ask her which one she wants, and she plays the dumb game, and asks me what I mean. I tell her I want to buy her one, and she freaks out and tells me no! She breaks out the guilty feelings thing, telling me that she'll feel bad about it and then pulls the "you don't have to!" line out as well. No kidding I didn't have to. That's not the point. I wanted to. I finally convinced her by telling her that if she didn't let me buy it for her, I'd just spend the money on chicken wings back at AIC, and thus she'd be contributing to me having a heart attack at age 40, which would feel a lot worse than getting a necklace. She relents and tells me which one she wants, but won't even look as I make the purchase, and then insists that she'll make it up to me the next time we hang out.
Now, seriously, why? Why put up all that fuss? Can anyone explain that to me? I mean, seriously, it's not like I wanted to buy her a car. All I wanted to do was get my best friend a present since I don't see her that often. I didn't have to, I wanted to. She's not the first person that's done this when I try and buy stuff for them, but it seems to always be the females that freak out. So, ladies...why? Why do you have to fight it? Why can't you just be happy that someone cares enough about you to spend a few bucks on you to get you something that you want anyway?

2. What's with people thinking I know anything about getting pregnant?

 
Let's start this one off by saying this: I am twenty-one years away from being the forty-year old virgin, OK? I've never had sex in my life. Thus, I've never impregnated anyone, and, being male, have certainly never been pregnant myself.
Yet, I've had two different friends come to me with the same exact problem. In both cases, the question was, "So, my boyfriend got me pregnant. What should I do?" Um...do I look like I'm an expert at that kind of thing? I mean, I try to think it through logically, find out as much as I can, and then try to help, but, really, it's not like I can answer that question. It's too complex for me, OK? I don't know what to do with being pregnant! I really don't!
Then, today, I got an IM from a different friend, asking me if, given certain conditions which I won't repeat here since I'm sure none of you need the lovely details of my friends' sex life, can a person get pregnant? She told me she thought I'd be the best person to ask. Um...once again, I am not a sex ed teacher. I'm not even a biologist. Why me? What makes people think I know what to do? Of course, she followed it up with the question about what to do if she does, in fact, get pregnant, thus throwing me back into the loop of the first part of this.
So, can someone explain that to me? What's with people asking me these questions? Why do you expect me to know the answers to stuff like this that I've never experienced?

Thank you, that is all.