I did some thinking this morning, thanks to some reading I did yesterday.

Let me start at the beginning...yesterday was my great-great uncle's 100th birthday. For that, one of my other uncles put together a family history, dating back to the 1800s, with as much about as many people in our family as he could find. It was pretty cool to see all of that...until I came across a name I had never actually heard, even though I knew it was there, somewhere. It was the name of my biological father. Let me start at the REAL beginning...I was born, and my father, biologically speaking, left. Yeah, pretty much that's it...he left my nineteen year old mother and I alone.

That name made me really think about myself. My entire life has been one long slog of people not wanting to be with me. My own father left me when I was about three months old. I've had at least a dozen people that I thought were my best friends tell me to my face that they hate me and wished I'd just go away. I've never had a girlfriend...and I can't even say it's for a lack of trying. She just...doesn't love me like that. The whole story of my life is just one of people not caring about me as much as I care about them. Clearly, it's something with me...I just wish I knew what it was.